Motorcycles are fun, right? Having fun is one of the most important aspects of motorcycling. There really is no other excuse for throwing our fragile meat sacks atop a steaming engine with wheels and rocketing through space like a game of Galaga, sans lasers and no extra lives. It’s fun.
That’s where Bixby Moto comes in. Bringing a bit of levity to the often overly-serious culture of motorcycling. To break up the monotony of scowling mugs, airbrushed flames, and duck faces. So we decided to dig a little deeper and found the opportunity to catch up with Drew of Bixby Moto to ask him about the meaning of dreams, a little fashion advice, and what bull testicles taste like. Also, our joke funnel was a little dry.
Who are you? Jeez. I can’t think of a more philosophical question. Just a dude with insecurities, a love for motorcycles, and a warped sense of humor. My name is Drew. I have a scooter shop in California. I make just enough money to pay for my adventures and motorcycles.
Right, that question didn’t seem as deep when I asked it, but looking at it now gives me anxiety. What is Bixby Moto? It’s a reminder to myself and every homophobic, sexist, racist person: try being a little less grumpy. Can you tell I was picked on?
Do you have any interesting, scary, or weird recurring dreams? I have one where I lose all my teeth. I’m in the bathroom and I just start lightly pulling them out, one by one. I’m staring in the mirror as I pluck them like autumn leaves until they’re all sitting in a bloody pile in the sink. You think that means something? That sounds absolutely frightening! I mean it’s a great horror movie synopses, but rainbows and unicorns sound much more pleasurable. I can’t even come close to your imagination. Should I be worried? All I ever seem to dream about is my wonderful girlfriend. She floats around on clouds of hugs. Nothing bad ever happens and I wake up smiling. I think they call it love, I don’t know.
Why did you start Bixby Moto? I never saw anyone having fun at motorcycle events. Lots of finger-pointing and judgment. I started to get wrapped up into the culture. Looking cool eventually took a toll and I caught myself living up to every motorcycle culture trope. I wanted to reduce my expectations to a simple rule. Have fun. Hence the Bixby Moto motto: “Fun Time Only”.
What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten? I ate rattlesnake once. I’ve also unintentionally eaten dirt and probably a lot of spiders. Potty humor aside, I’ve eaten bull testicles. They aren’t as good as you’d think. Rattlesnake sounds way more Gucci.
Yeah, it’s pretty Gucci. Rattlesnake is sort of like a cross between a fish and a chicken. It tastes pretty good doused in BBQ sauce. Then again, spiders probably taste good doused in BBQ sauce. What do bull testicles taste like and how were they prepared? They’re deep-fried and bland. My whole life has been finding an excuse to dip things in BBQ sauce. Thirty years now and I’m getting creative.
When you ride a motorcycle, do you feel the eagle spirit of freedom enter your body and allow your soul to take flight? Truly, motorcycles are a magical wonderland that most will never know. It elicits powerful emotions. A sense of pure joy! But heaven is “ghost riding” your motorcycle into a brick wall, shrugging your shoulders, and walking away. I’d rather have a handbag than a showbike. Even better, a scooter.
I hear you, sometimes a showbike doesn’t have any stories to tell. Where do you get the tight threads? You’re always sporting some dope getup. Most men have wandering eyes, but I’m not watching for beautiful women. It’s rhinestones that get me hot and bothered. I buy it when I see it. Thrift stores are the best bang for your buck. Farm towns have great cowboy hats and western suits.
Any fashion advice you could give me? That’s easy. Wear something that makes you feel embarrassed. Feeling like an idiot is comparable to a force field. There isn’t anything anyone can say that’s worse than how you feel. It sounds illogical, but it works. If all else fails: What would Liberace do?
What is that killer ride you took to punish in the dunes? A stock ‘71 XLH900 Sportster. It doesn’t do anything particularly well, which is probably why I love it. My first choice would have been to get sloppy in the sand dunes with a Gold Wing. But I don’t have one of those, so I took the worst bike I own.
How’d it handle with those massive paddles on it? It was slow, heavy, and handled like seaweed in high surf. The key to sand is floating gracefully across the surface. But I ain’t graceful and I like a challenge. The paddle tire probably didn’t hurt, but 50 horsepower from a boat anchor was less than ideal.
Then again, NASA put us on the moon two years before Harley Davidson built my bike. What was I complaining about again? The short answer: I had it pinned the whole time.
What was your first bike? I was just a kid when my Dad bought a Suzuki DS80 to learn on. He took my brother and I to a sand washout in the desert for our first lesson. I got 20 feet and started crying. It was the most terrified I’ve ever felt. I was ready to quit, but Dad was supportive. He wouldn’t let me give up. Now I feel like I could ride anything anywhere. Thanks, Dad!
Where is Bixby Moto located? 11211 Slater Ave., Fountain Valley, CA, 92708. That’s quite literal, but anyone who wants a sticker can send me a postcard with a return address and I’ll mail out something hella bespoke.
This article first appeared in issue 21 of Iron & Air Magazine, and is reproduced here under license | Interview by Gregory George Moore | Images by Christopher Hopkins
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